Chapter 5

        Kshzzzt!
        The signals scrambled again. On the viewscreen was Medic, who had a crazy yet determined grin on his face as he aimed his Medigun forward, with one hand pushing a lever forward on the device. Medic was once again in his operating room at Drogentote Medical, and his Medigun was emitting a swirling red beam of energy toward a young woman with long red hair. The woman, whose name was Kurisu Makise, usually wore a light brown jacket and a red necktie over a white dress shirt, above black shorts and black tights. For the moment, she wore a labcoat instead of her jacket.
        Kurisu had been roped in by Medic around the time of the Resurrection Movement's first victory about a year beforehand. Kurisu was to assist Medic in healing the teammates between skirmishes with the Opposition and other potential enemies, even though she was a neuroscientist, not a medical scientist. If not for all the doves and different kinds of Mediguns she always saw around Medic, Kurisu felt that he was almost like that other mad scientist she knew....
        However, Medic was about to demonstrate his regular Medigun's special ability... using Kurisu as his test subject again.
        "Hahahahaha! It's just you and me!" proclaimed Medic. "Ready to charge, Frau Doctor!"
        "Huh?" asked Kurisu.
        "Ubercharge!"
        "German and English, all jumbled up," Kurisu noted, with a sullen why-am-I-not-surprised? look on her face.
        "Heil, us!"
        KkkCRACK!
        As electric crackles shot out from the Medigun alongside the energy beam, Medic's and Kurisu's entire bodies, as well as the healing device itself, lit up into a glowing metallic red. But Kurisu found herself clutching her hands tightly onto her chest.
        "Agh! AaaaaAAAHHH! Hey, wait!" screamed Kurisu as she bent over in pain.
        Medic quickly released the Medigun's lever. The metallic red immediately faded from Kurisu, and then shortly afterwards from Medic.
        KkkCrack.
        "The healing leaves little time for the hurting," declared Medic. As he looked at Kurisu continuing to clutch her chest from the heart-pounding invincibility Ubercharge, Medic noted to himself, "Ugh! The flesh is weak..."
        Kurisu was too stricken to care what Medic was mumbling about.

        Engineer groaned. He himself may be comfortable with showing Mami how to use the Wrangler to point his Sentries, but even he believed Medic was going a bit too far by almost overloading Kurisu's heart just then. But before Engineer could simmer any contempt toward his own teammate, the signals scrambled once more.

        Kshzzzt!
        Ritsu and Kyubey were back on the viewscreen. Kyubey was once again on top of Ritsu's head, but Ritsu seemed very displeased this time.
        "Get off!" yelled Ritsu.
        Meanwhile, Asuna watched from a safe distance.
        "Dummy," muttered Asuna as she shook her head slightly.

        Kshzzzt!
        RRRING RRRING!
        As the signals scrambled, Engineer took the incoming call again.
        The Fugitive's voice was back on the headset. He spoke, "I cannot believe that drummer, Ritsu, spoke like she knew a few of those other frigging fairies from... Ok, Engineer, basically right now, we're looking at stuff from about 10 years ago, and--"
        Kzzzt!
        A burst of static cut the Fugitive off as another signal arrived on the inhibitor's viewscreen.

        Kshzzzt!
        A tall pale-looking woman with curly orange hair appeared on the screen. The woman, known as Scary Godmother, was a fairy-witch who adored Halloween. She wore a jazzy green and purple hat with a wide black brim. She also had a black shirt with a low neckline, and small purple wings on her back.
        Scary Godmother turned to her left and noticed Madoka walking by, alongside a tall man in a beige tweed jacket with a bowtie on. She then looked off to the side, and said dejectedly, "Oh, that's so not good."

        Kshzzzt!
        The viewscreen next showed Mami on top of a blue and yellow circular rug with the numbers of a clock placed around it. Mami, crouched onto her knees in the center, looked up and waved, only to start looking around her in confusion.
        Mami then looked back up and spoke, "I see. You've noticed it too, have you?"
       
        RRRING RRRING!
        "Seriously, I don't know what's been cutting me off all this time," the Fugitive spoke as his voice returned to Engineer's headset once more. "Anyway, Engineer, I remember all that stuff you're watching now; it's from about 10 to 20 years ago. I don't think your friend Mami Tomoe would know about that clock stretch, but..."
        Engineer looked up and pondered for a moment.
        "Wait. Wait, I'm getting something!" said the Fugitive in a sudden outburst. "Those frigging spacesuit men are being pulled to your location...!"
        Kzzzt!
        Another burst of static happened on Engineer's headset before the signals scrambled yet again.

        Kshzzzt!

 

Swing your arms from side to side

 

        Mario was shown performing a dance in front of a retro-looking castle atop a green landscape. However, the signals scrambled quickly before more of Mario could be shown.

        Kshzzzt!

 

The laundry, the laundry
I'm slowly going insane
If I see another piece of laundry
I'm gonna stuff it down the drain

 

        Engineer groaned at this song that suddenly played across the machines. He tapped the inhibitor machine with his wrench. The inhibitor whirred as it powered down. Engineer felt relieved to get a break away from all the stuff from "10 to 20 years ago". But an artificial voice behind Engineer broke the quiet moment he got.
        "You gay prick," accused a spacesuit-wearing protester. "You like listening to those aeiou songs so much, don't you?" He held his original sign that read, "OPPOSITION KILL HIM ALREADY".
        "Heck no," Engineer replied sternly as he turned around.
        "Why else would they always be playing?" continued the protester. "You claim you're working with these cute girls. I say it looks like something else."
        Pew pew POW!
        The bright flash of a time-screw brought the other eight spacesuit-wearing men into formation behind the one who has just arrived.
        One of the protesters in the back declared, "Enjoy the rest of your sad sad life always doing things wrong. Either that, or you:"
        "Kill! The! Fugitive! Kill! The! Fugitive!" The nine spacesuit men began chanting their protest rally once more.
        Engineer had enough of those spacesuit men. He adjusted the toolbox that was on the ground with his hands, and a Sentry began to reassemble as the sides of the toolbox unfolded.
        "Kill! The! Fugitive!"
        Engineer slammed his wrench impatiently onto the Sentry as it constructed itself. The whirs and hisses of the mechanisms could not drown out the persistent chanting by nine artificial voices whose sole aim was to see the Fugitive dead.
        "Kill! The! Fugitive!"

        The team's ringtone, followed by a particular girl's sweet voice, managed to drown out the cacophony of irrational protests.
        RRRING RRRING!
        "What's happening?" asked Mami.
        "I need help defending this point!" declared Engineer.
        "Got it."

        Engineer noticed a bright yellow light behind him and the primary inhibitor. His assistant, Mami, had arrived in the nick of time and was back in her corset-like magical girl outfit. As Mami landed on top of the primary inhibitor, she sweeped her right arm across the area in front of her. Many of her musket rifles materialized into the area just as soon as Engineer's Sentry finished its construction.
        "Looks like that there just weren't the place you oughta be standin'!" declared Engineer with a calm and collected grin on his face, and his Wrangler control in his hands.
        But Mami did not have the same expression. She pointed at the protesters and softly made a stern statement of her own.
        "You... are cowards!"
        BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!
        Engineer's Sentry locked onto the protesters at the same time the levers on Mami's numerous rifles slammed into place.
        BANGBLAMBLAM prprprprprpr BLAMBANGBLAM prprprprprpr BLAMBLAMBANG POW KABLAM!!!
        A barrage of metallic bullet rounds and yellow magic spheres met its mark as suddenly as it emerged. It tore up the wooden sign into pixellated splinters and sent the nine men flying.
        "Waaaaaaiiii..." the men began before a time-screw teleport guaranteed their exit from the inhibitor room.
        KSSHHHHHH-WWWwwwhhhSSSSSSHHHHHH...
        As the bright flashes of the gunfire and teleport faded, Engineer and Mami began to smile at each other. However, they were interrupted by the song that had played earlier.

 

Something must be wrong
'Cause I'm so busy doing laundry...


        Engineer groaned and drooped his head while Mami slapped her hand onto her face. But just then, Mami noticed a bright flash in the air just above the both of them.
       
VzzzzzZZZZZ!

        Soldier had teleported into the room and was in free fall.

 

If I see another load of laundry...


        "Screaming eagle! Aaaargh!" declared Soldier as he spread his arms wide. He aimed his fall toward Inhibitor 2. Unfortunately, Soldier had no idea that this inhibitor-- the one that was destroyed on New Year's Day 2013, the one that had a glowing slash on it, the one that had been pumping out potentially noxious smoke all this time-- was the very machine that no one was supposed to land an impact on due to the demonic(?) force field that protected it.

 

I'm gonna stuff it down the drain!


        WOOOOOooooommmmmmm...
        The song finished as Soldier crashed into Inhibitor 2 and set off a blinding green glow that propelled him backwards. As Soldier slid to a stop, he saw Engineer frowning and Mami with a determined look on her face.
        "Grit always beats magic," Soldier declared before he grabbed the penguin on his belt and whooshed away.
        VzzzzzZZZZZ!

        The loud collective "Uhhhhhhh" of the nine spacesuits crumpled onto the floor drew the attention of a young woman who had long yellow-blonde hair in a ponytail and wore a yellow visor.
        "Boss, we've failed," said the leader who saw his sign get torn into splinters. "Our nostalgia distractions and baseless accusations aren't working."
        The woman spoke in an artificial, yet nearly human, voice. "Why is it that I gotta do this myself again?" Her name was Neru Akita. She was a close friend of Miku, the person the mercs eventually tracked down during the old "CODE RED" missions. Yet, at the same time, Neru was Opposition Member #3, one of the seven who wanted the Fugitive dead and his protectors out of commission.
        To take down the Resurrection Movement and flush out the Fugitive, Neru had attempted to use the efforts of more men who always hid their faces, who were almost like those pale men wearing black caps all those years back. But these spacesuit men proved even more useless than the other men with their constant bickering and verbal tics.
        "Fake!" spoke out another protester. "Your voice is fake."
        "I think you mean, 'seems legit'," corrected yet another protester, prompting an argument between the two.
        "No, you idiot. I mean it IS fake. That gay Medic brought her voice back. I mean her real voice, not that gay fake crud right now that she used years ago."
        "Then it seems legit. Aeiou."
        ("My own voice, I hate it,") she spoke softly
in her actual Japanese synthesizer-like voice.

        Then she addressed the spacesuit men with her artificial human-speech voice. "But maybe I will keep a few of you idiots around."
        Neru then took out a large yellow-petaled flower with a red dot in the center and attached it onto her head with a
        BOING!
        "That's my cue," declared the protester leader. "I'm the only real aeiou among us."
        "Mistress boss, I cannot believe this," said another protester in disbelief. "What you just did is so gay, that means you have to die, too."
        "No!" reacted yet another protester. "You weren't supposed to say that in front of the mistress boss, you idiot!"
        Neru then took out a modern shotgun. "Guess what? You're coming with me," she declared as she rested the shotgun between her left index finger and thumb while pointing it at the spacesuit men.
        Suddenly, a red fiery glow began to emerge from her left hand....

 

 

 

Chapter 6 >